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Question of the Week



What's Your Excuse for Not Attending Synagogue?


Question:

Rabbi, do you know why I don't go to synagogue? I used to go, but I started to notice that in my synagogue, the rich people get more noticed and average people like me are overlooked. So I stopped going. If you need to be wealthy to be respected, I want no part of it. Am I right or wrong?

Answer:

You are the third person this week to explain to me why they don't go to synagogue. This happens to me all the time. At almost every function I attend, a wedding, kid's birthday party or communal gathering, someone comes up to me and says, "Rabbi, do you know why I don't go to synagogue...."

They feel the need to share with me their particular Jewish gripe I have never asked anyone why they don't go to synagogue. I don't even know these people. And yet they feel the need to share with me their particular Jewish gripe, either about the unfriendly rabbi or the arrogant cantor, the grandfather who forced them to pray or the G‑d who didn't answer their prayers.

It's funny, I don't feel the need to justify to my dentist why I never go to him, or the local gym why they never see me. And yet when people see a rabbi they are overcome with an urge to explain their absence from synagogue.

Mind you, the people who do attend synagogue don't seem to have a good reason why they come. Even someone who has not been to synagogue in years can rock up to a service, and without any justification for their sudden appearance, they walk in, take a prayer book and sit down as if they always belonged there.

Because they do belong there.I am here because I am Jewish, and going to synagogue is Jewish A Jew needs no reason to be in synagogue. There is no explanation necessary. Most of the time, they themselves don't know why they started coming to synagogue. And so they offer no rationalization. You only need a reason not to go to synagogue. But to go, no reason is required. I am here because I am Jewish, and going to synagogue is Jewish.

This is why I love hearing those alibis people present for not being in synagogue. A Jew needs a reason not to connect to Judaism. Some may have pretty good reasons, like yours. But they are reasons nonetheless. A Jew needs no reason to connect to Judaism. It is who we are.

If you don't like your synagogue, find another one. Until you do, all the justifications in the world won't change the fact that you're a Jew, and a Jew wants to be Jewish.

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By Aron Moss   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author
Rabbi Aron Moss teaches Kabbalah, Talmud and practical Judaism in Sydney, Australia and is a frequent contributor to Chabad.org.

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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Sep 8, 2010
chabad
cant afford to have a 'seat' at rosh hashanah; at chabad or any synaggogues charging such high fee to sit on the holidays
Posted By Anonymous, palm beach, fl

Posted: Sep 8, 2010
I tried a Chabad shul -- it was the worst place
My husband and I tried a Chabad shul three years ago.

It was the worst place we'd ever been in -- not just the worst *shul* we'd ever been in, the worst *place* we'd ever been in.

Even though the demands for money weren't blatant, that didn't make up for everything else there that sickened us.

We stuck it out for the first day of Rosh HaShanah. We stuck it out for the second day of Rosh HaShanah (with even greater difficulty). We stuck it out till halfway through Yom Kippur -- then, by mutual agreement, we went home and never went back.
Posted By Anonymous, Albany, req

Posted: Sep 8, 2010
spot on
I loved this posting. After 30 some years of avoiding shul, I started attending my local Chabad five years ago. Ostensibly I was looking to say kaddish for my father, but I've no reason why I really went. I kept returning Shabbat after Shabbat, relearning the siddur and parshot and feeling as my life was intangibly richer.

For anyone frustrated by the social strata of typical shuls, or uncomfortable with his level of knowledge, please find a Chabad shul. The egalitarian welcome my family and I have found at each Chabad has allowed us to rediscover prayer and community and led to a life with more mitzvot.

As a scientist and mathematician, the fulfilment of attending shul will stay a mystery to me. Fortunately, it doesn't need my understanding.
Posted By Eric, Philadelphia, PA



 

   
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